Karen: A story of triumph over Domestic Abuse!

A mother and two sons, alone in their home and a familiar person enters the home, he is asked to leave and doesn't. He becomes angry, argumentative and she sends the children to their bedroom. She knows what will happen next, it is always the same...

But, this time it was not the same. This time he brought a gun. He told her if he could not have her, no one could, and he shot her in the left temple at close range.The next thing he did was to shoot himself. He died, but Thank God, by what could only be a miracle, she lived! This event happened 9 years ago.

Three and a half years ago Karen came into my life. My son brought her home from college with him, as a friend, and asked if she could also stay the weekend. She had been staying at a motel that had just burned down. She had no place to go. I of coarse, said yes!

She has become a wonderful part of our family. We consider her our daughter. She has no close family of her own. Only a son who lives about 5 hours drive from us. They do keep in contact. But she has adopted us, and we her.

Karen is 46 years old. She lives with shrapnel in her brain and neck which can not be removed. All of it is near crucial areas which would cause either more brain damage or spinal chord damage. She has the mental capacity of a young teenager. She is in nearly constant pain, with headaches that make migraines feel like a pin prick! The bullet blast damaged muscle, nerves and brain tissue plus the shrapnel have a tendency to shift or vibrate.

Karen also has a disease called Sarcoidosis.

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/dci/Diseases/sarc/sar_whatis.html

Sarcoidosis can affect any organ in your body. However, it's more likely to occur in some organs than in others. The disease usually starts in the lungs, skin, and/or lymph nodes (especially the lymph nodes in your chest).

The disease also often affects the eyes and the liver. Although less common, sarcoidosis can affect the heart and brain, leading to serious complications.

If many granulomas form in an organ, they can affect how the organ works. This can cause signs and symptoms. Signs and symptoms vary depending on which organs are affected. Many people who have sarcoidosis have no symptoms or mild symptoms.

Lofgren's syndrome is a classic set of signs and symptoms that is typical in some people who have sarcoidosis. Lofgren's syndrome may cause fever, enlarged lymph nodes, arthritis (usually in the ankles), and/or erythema nodosum (er-i-THE-ma no-DO-sum).

Erythema nodosum is a rash of red or reddish-purple bumps on your ankles and shins. The rash may be warm and tender to the touch.

Karen's Sarcoidosis affects her lungs and she has Lofgren Syndrome. Bless her very sweet heart she is not a well person.

Karen is considered disabled and is on disability. She has been under the care of the department of aging and adult services for some time. She receives In Home Supportive Care Services.

Being an adult, who has not been given to the legal custody or guardianship of anyone she is legally free to make all decisions for herself! This is where we have run into problems and where she has been in situations of further abuse!

About six months after Karen became one of our family members, she met and began dating a young man who was 20. He was married and separated with a wife in Texas I found out a few weeks later. He claimed to be filing for divorce. I was asked my opinion and gave it. I told her I felt he was much too young, he was still married, and I was worried she would get hurt. She asked me to talk to him. I did. I told him the same things. Plus, I told him exactly what her disabilities were and that if he hurt her he would not be welcome back a second time to do it! He got Karen pregnant with twins, left her, went back to his wife and after she miscarried at 5 1/2 months tried to come back to her. Which we defiantly blocked!The whole thing nearly killed her, literally. She tried to commit suicide by throwing herself in front of the train which runs in front of our house at first. Thank God my sons girl friend was home and literally tackled her to the ground right before the tracks. I then got her to a doctor who put her on depression medication. Then when she lost the twins she almost hemorrhaged to death not to mention the emotional turmoil.

Next, about 4 months later she met an ex-con who wood her. He was in his late 20's. He was of coarse, "a changed man, found God, blah, blah, blah," he was a smooth talker at first! He got her to put him up in a hotel, unbeknown to us, and got a hold of her ATM/VISA card and took her for everything she had and then some! It took me weeks to straighten out her bank account. He ordered things on a computer and overdrew her account by $800.00 by the time all of the charges and overdraft charges came in. I am happy to say he is back in prison where he belongs!

Karen then got involved with a 19 year old with an attitude. She decided to move out of our home and move in with him, which I tried to discourage, but could not legally stop! He is built like a pit bull and is only about 5'3" tall and has what I call little man syndrome. He acts tough, buys big trucks, etc... He is strong and uses his muscles to hurt her. At first he was nice, sweet, gentle and then---------

** boom**. No more Mr. Nice guy! She kept giving him the excuse that his dad use to beat on him, his mom died when he was only 8, he never graduated high school, he doesn't know about God and Jesus... I kept on telling her, yes, that is sad, BUT that does not make it okay for him to put you down, cuss at you and man handle you. I explained to her about ABUSE and the types of abuse. Physical, Emotional, Sexual and Financial Abuse.

Finally, after Karen has been living with him for the last 1 1/2 years she called me to have her daddy (my husband) come and get her. She finally has had enough. He did not come home the night before and he had stayed at another woman's house. He told her all he did was kiss her (yea right!) He told Karen she could not leave and he would never let her leave, that really scared her. She remembered that the guy who shot her had said that! He then yelled at her a few choice words and went to work! I Thank God she made the right choice, she called me, her Mom! I had her Dad go pick her up. We sat and had a long talk and she told us a lot of things that she had not told us before. There was a lot of Physical, Emotional, Sexual and Financial Abuse going on.

Adult Protective Services had already been called, we found out, by another friend of Karen's. I Thank God for that friend, a police officer, who just happened to call and check on her. Yesterday I spent over an hour with Karen at the Adult Protective Services Office with a counselor and a Sheriff, while Karen was being deposed as what had been happening over the last year and a half. Monday a restraining order against him and his family will be filed so they can not harass her or us and the District Attorney will be getting this case for prosecution.

I say to abusers who read this, please stop, the damage you do is horrific, not just physically but mentally and emotionally. I also warn you that eventually, you will get caught! You will get prosecuted, and hopefully to the fullest extent of the law.

And to those who abuse the disabled, (children and elderly), I can not fathom what kind of monster it takes to do such a thing. They must have absolutely no morals, no values, no conscience, a black heart and their god must be Satan!

To you who read this who are being abused. Call someone you trust, NOW please. It takes only one small phone call to stop the trauma, the abuse. You are not doing anything wrong, no matter what you have been told. You are being manipulated to think that. You are a wonderfully made person, special and loved by many people. The person hurting you, does not love you. That is a lie. Love does not hurt. Find a Bible and read I Corinthians 13. It will tell you what love is.

Karen is back home now, with us. She is safe and going to go to counselling for those who have been abused. My Prayer is that the cycle will never repeat again!